Saturday, 7 July 2012

Review: Saving June

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Don't let the bastards grind you down.
June said that.
But it didn't help her.

This is something I wrote after I read the book, though it'll give those who haven't read Saving June an idea about how Harper is like.
This is written from Harper's point of view.

I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing makes sense. My sister was the perfect golden girl. She was beautiful, smart and everyone loved her. Everyone. And now she's gone. All that's left of this family is a grief-stricken mother and the bad daughter. The one who never fails to disappoint everyone. That's me. Except until they stopped expecting anything of me when they realised I'm never gonna be like June. But now I'm supposed to step up into her place and live up to her name. I don't understand. How does her death change anything? About me, that is. Her death changed everything but it doesn't change who I am inside. Everyone is upset about her passing ant that includes me too. So why am I expected to be strong and there for my mother? I'm not really made of steel despite my rebellious actions. Not like anybody knows. Not like anybody cares. I've always acted like nothing ever gets to me because I don't give a fucking damn about the world. Yeah, right. Maybe that's because no one in the world bothers with me either. There's gotta be a mutual reaction, right? Newton's third law. See, I do study. I just flunk my exams because I want to. Even if I gave it my best I would still fall low of June. And they would never be satisfied. So why bother? Might as well do it the other way and see if anybody cares. Apparently not. In their eyes I'm just the loser, the failure in the family, the daughter who isn't good enough. Like, ever. And now, I'm the sister who lived. Great. I bet they wished I was the one who died instead. Maybe I do too. Then I wouldn't have to face this sucked up shit. After all it wasn't like I had a bright future ahead of me. I don't think I'll even be able to make it to state college. June had a full fucking scholarship. See that? The big difference between the two Scott sisters. But she had wanted to go to California. Even had a big fight with mum about it. That must the only time they ever fought. She wasn't one to go against her mother and my mother didn't exactly have the need to interfere with her choices before. She's smart. She even got the colleges she was aiming for lined up before senior year. She relented though. She's too soft. Unlike me. I would have insisted on going to overseas college just for the kick of pissing Mum off. Maybe that was why she did it. She was suffocating here. To live up to expectations, it must have been harder that I thought. Even I want to get away. Why not her? I'm really getting sick and tired with all this guessing. If she had planned this, wouldn't she have left a note or something? Not that it would help but, it's rude. And June is anything but rude. It is unlike her to act so irresponsibly. But then again, I wouldn't have thought she would be committing suicide either. She was so happy when she received the acceptance package from Berkeley. How I hope time would go back then. When everything was fine. I should have paid more attention to her since then. It was almost the last time I saw her smile. Genuinely smile. Why hadn't I spotted any clues? Anything that might have stopped this tragedy from happening. I loved her, really. I wished I had the chance to show her that. But I was too busy playing bad daughter. I have to do something for her. Make it right. Let her be at peace. I can't believe my parents actually agreed on splitting her ashes after the service. They are such dickheads. I'm not religious or anything, I'm not even sure I can see her ashes as herself. But it just feels so wrong. She needs to be where she wants to be. Where it would make her happy. That was why she killed herself, isn't it? Because she's not happy. I don't know what's the big deal about California, but it seemed like she really wanted to be there. How she quoted it as her home in that postcard. I'm sure that's she wants to be. I should take her there. I've never really done anything for her but this is it. I have to do this. My parents would flip if they knew about this but screw them. June deserves this. I know she would want me to do this. I need to get to California. ASAP. 

I'm glad the publisher didn't approve my request at Netgalley.
Only then would I have went to the library to borrow it.
This is one book I would like to have physically.
Partly because I tend to read slower for ebooks.
And because, like Jake said, I liked something to hold in my hands.
And really, this is one book I want to keep on my bookshelf.

I love Harper.
She's strong in a way even though she might not feel so.
Often mistaken, she didn't bother to do it right anymore.
It nearly made her lose herself, because no one seemed to care about what she's feeling.
But Laney, ever supportive friend is there.
She's the only person who tries to understand her though sometimes she really can't.
I'm still really glad she stuck by her though.
And Jake.
Oh Jake.
He may seem like a jerk sometimes but he really cared about June.
She changed his life, after all.

Saving June is about dealing with post-trauma.
Finding herself through the eyes of others.
Those who understand her, even more than she does herself.
In search for the sister she didn't know.
What made her come to this step.
While tiding through her own problems with new met friends.
The complicated guy.
And the music.
The best part is the music.
Because music can see you through anything.

Title: Saving June
Author: Hannah Harrington
Genre: Contemporary YA
Goodreads Description: Harper Scott’s older sister has always been the perfect one so when June takes her own life a week before her high school graduation, sixteen-year-old Harper is devastated. Everyone’s sorry, but no one can explain why.

When her divorcing parents decide to split her sister’s ashes into his-and-her urns, Harper takes matters into her own hands. She’ll steal the ashes and drive cross-country with her best friend, Laney, to the one place June always dreamed of going, California.

Enter Jake Tolan. He’s a boy with a bad attitude, a classic-rock obsession and nothing in common with Harper’s sister. But Jake had a connection with June, and when he insists on joining them, Harper’s just desperate enough to let him. With his alternately charming and infuriating demeanour and his belief that music can see you through anything, he might be exactly what she needs.

Except June wasn’t the only one hiding something. Jake’s keeping a secret that has the power to turn Harper’s life upside down again.
I want the faith that someday there will be some kind of an answer, something more than these endless questions taking up so much space in my head, this feeling that nothing matters and nothing has a point. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that I have no answers. It isn't fair that June isn't here to give them. Most of all it isn't fair that she did this to me, that she left me to deal with this mess on my own. That's how I feel: completely and utterly alone.Even with Laney here. Even with my mother. I'm still alone.

I feel shallow discussing about the cover over here but really, this wasn't the one I was hoping to get.
If I were gonna buy it, I would have made sure to get the one below.

Because I'm just a hardcore cover lover.
And really I fell in love with this one the moment I saw it months ago.
Set my eyes on this book because of this.
But of course, the cover's not really important with the content so moving and captivating.
I finished it in two sittings and I honestly just sat there and did nothing but read.
I couldn't get away.
There is just, something in this book that made me want to just flip the pages.
I'm not sad it ended though.
It had a great ending, coupled with the soundtrack I'm gonna be listening to for the next few weeks.
Who knows?
Maybe even months.

Want to know more about the author?
Good luck with that, because I can't seem to find a way to connect with her :/
But still, you can go become her fan on Goodreads and check out her second book, Speechless, which is set to release coming August 28.
There is, sadly, not much description on her new book either but you can always check the reviews coming from those who received the ARCs!

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